Dear Diary,
Today I am using my blog to rant, cause it's my blog and when I say (type) things out loud, it becomes clearer. I don't think I'm very good at my job. I enjoy it...when I can do it at my pace. I struggle with the ideas of not being good enough and that often handicaps my performance. Truthfully, I'm probably pretty good at my job. And there are probably areas I can improve on. I have a gentleman coming to observe me for three days. I don't really know what his responsibilities are but I think he has some authority over me. No problem. I juggled a few things around to handle some very pressing matters at work but that resulted in not having a ton of appointments set up. At 5:18 today, I received his agenda for the three days beginning tomorrow..... Nice.... I am picking him up from the airport and had to ask for his itinerary today..... Nice.... So why do I feel this ensuing panic? Because I question myself. I don't believe in myself. I have the vision of what I'd like to do, and that is very different from what I'm capable of doing. So, the key is to be perfectly Ok with my capabilities. I'm exactly where I need to be. I should welcome the help to grow..... See, ranting for me is good.... I'll sleep well tonight get going tomorrow.... Oh the title???? I'm being stretched in my personal growth.... This is my core issue......It won't always be. For today I need to Be Still.....

I wrote the following when I was in a better place... It speaks to me now and brings great peace.

Being
The end is foretold and no amount of deviation can erase the course…
And when the time is right she moves with grace and cunning,
the enemy can hardly see her.

It is not with stealth she travels but with the divine intent from which she was molded. And her destination is of little consequence because
she is already there and movement is an illusion.

This is the world in which I live and perception is nothing if not everything.

The end is foretold and no amount of deviation can erase the course…